A Man’s Woman … With Drawer!

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Right – I’ll come clean right at the start of this – I don’t class myself as a woman’s woman. I’m not a girly girl, all sugar and spice and all things nice. I don’t dress in frills or pastel pink and I have no hankering for a cute little car or tiny handbag dog. No. I’m more of what I suppose you’d call, a man’s woman. I’d much rather have the company of men than a gathering of my own sex. My worst nightmare (and this has happened) is to be directed towards the area (in this case it was the conservatory), where all the women are sitting chatting together. No, I don’t especially want to talk about jewellery, holiday clothes, children’s development or the Marks and Spencer’s book (whatever that is – I never did find out and have no interest in doing so either).

I’m not decrying the conversation of women one bit or saying women have nothing interesting to say. It’s just that when you get a group together they do tend to veer off into the banal. Maybe it’s that old inferiority complex of not wanting to show up as being any brighter or more intelligent than the other. I don’t know. Maybe collectively, it’s the wife and mother nurturer coming out. Again, I don’t know. But no matter what, I’m not really interested in going there.

The one thing that made me literally stop in my tracks though, was something on TV last November. The television had been turned over and The Royal Variety Performance was on. I was making my way out of the living room at the time Michael MacIntyre came on. And it was something about his ‘act’ that made me halt. It was – The Man Drawer. Now if you haven’t heard this performance, I’ve posted a link from the picture below.

As he went through it, right from the – women aren’t allowed in the loft – it is the domain of the man. I laughed thinking, that’s me. I’m the one who knows where everything is in the loft. But when he came on to talk of, The Man Drawer, I came into my own. Practically all the things he spoke about – I had, and I alone knew where to find them … obviously in, The Man Drawer. I stood laughing and thinking – Oh My God … I’m a man!!!!

I will own up – I like Top Gear and will watch Dave (I’m not explaining if you don’t know what it is – ok), Megastructures, Worlds Deadliest Catch & The Teutals at Orange County Choppers.

My husband once told me I drove like a man – which I took as a compliment. Lately he’s told me I drive like a taxi driver!

I’m the one who has to remind my husband to put the bin out on a Monday night (sometimes I just do it though). We live in the country so (don’t be squeamish) I’m the one who has to empty the mouse traps. In the aforementioned loft (which we can just walk into, as we built a sitting room in the existing loft – so we still have half a loft with a door, if you follow) I have a substantial and well equipped toolbox. At the moment, someone’s whipped my 7.5mtr tape measure. I’ll get to the bottom of it yet. Before Sky⁺  I was the one who did the pre-set recording first on the video and then DVD – actually, what am I talking about, I still do it on Sky! I DO NOT however have ownership of the TV control – that still belongs to my husband.

Until very, very recently, I was the one who knew how to use the computer and the internet, my husband wasn’t interested – Ebay might as well have meant a drug-runners paradise for all he cared. But now he’s slowly coming round. On a hot day I have been known to drink a glass of white wine (only at home), but usually it’s red. Recently I’ve discovered I like real ale. But to be honest, I’d much rather – by far – have a large glass of black rum. Before we had SatNav, I was the one to read the map, without getting us lost. And before you men ask the sacrosanct question I’ll answer it … yes, I do know the offside rule.

I realise at the end of this, I might have come off sounding a bit ‘butch’ to say the least, and rather boastful. But I like to think of it more as being independent – even though I do have a husband and grown up son. My daughter’s moved away from home and is ready any second to have her first baby – a boy. But thinking about it – she’s pretty much the same as me!

So, c’mon women, get in that loft and get your toolbox sorted out. Really … stop hiding your light under a bushel and know where to go when you’re on your own and really do need to find that radiator bleeding key. Guess where mine is ….

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